You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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