So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it's like heaven, but drunker
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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