You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
