I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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