oh god the rape fog is back!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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