I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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