butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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