I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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