She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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