flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
