we're blogging at a bar
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
