My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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