Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
