It's Friday. Sex?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
