and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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