So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
