what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
