Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
