Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
