Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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