Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
