We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
