Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
