i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
