his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wish there were birth control emojis
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
