Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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