will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
