Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
