he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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