Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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