just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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