apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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