so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
