I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
