I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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