After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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