your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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