turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.