Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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