We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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