Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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