Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
