if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
