It was confusing and full of hummus
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
