This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Even my vagina gasped.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
