you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
