saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
