last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
bring money and cleavage
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
