i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
