you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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