I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we're making bets on your personal life
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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