i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize