So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
