dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
