insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
