kristin has been a bad kristin
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
