i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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