Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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