some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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