So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I could make wine with my vomit
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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