He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
