Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
