if i can run in heels then i can drive
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize